


That Look

by Callida88



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Family, Family Angst, Family Feels, Gen, Grief/Mourning, One Shot, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 17:24:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11445546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callida88/pseuds/Callida88
Summary: The first time that Teddy remembers it happening was when he was five. Harry and Ginny had taken him down to the pond at the Burrow. There were ducks in the water, and in his excitement, he'd metamorphized his mouth and nose into a bill. When he turned to Ginny, expecting her to laugh, she just had that look on her face. That delight mixed with endless sadness that would haunt him from then on.A really quick one-shot about Teddy Lupin throughout childhood.This is the revised version of a story I originally posted on my FFN account.





	That Look

The first time that Teddy could remember it happening was when he was five. Harry and Ginny had taken him down to the pond at the Burrow. There were ducks in the water, and in his excitement, he'd metamorphized his mouth and nose into a bill. When he turned to Ginny, expecting her to laugh, she just had that look on her face. That delight mixed with endless sadness that would haunt him from then on. She smiled, before glancing up at Harry who wore that look too. Moments later it had gone, as they'd laughed and ruffled his hair, but it had rattled something inside of Teddy.

That look followed him everywhere he went. It was on his grandmother's face constantly, and on all of the Weasleys. When he would turn his hair bubble gum pink. When he gave a sheepish smile. When he wore a jumper with elbow patches. When he laughed and a snort escaped.

It even continued at Hogwarts. He saw it on the faces of some of the professors, like McGonagall, Hagrid, and even Neville. When he was sorted into Hufflepuff. When he knocked something off a desk during class. When he showed promise in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

The only time he could escape it was when he hung out with the other kids. If he were honest with himself, it was why he had spent so much time with Victoire when they were little and hadn't have much in common. She never gave him that look, because to her, those things weren't echoes of his parents. They were just parts of him.

One day during the summer after fourth year, the family was gathered at Shell Cottage. Victoire and Teddy snuck away from the crowd and down to the shore. The sun sparkled on the water as it inched lower in the sky. A breeze ran through their hair, sending a shiver down Teddy's spine. Vic laughed, a musical sound that he craved more of. He turned his hair bright pink, to match her sweater. Her face lit up with a smile.

"My dad said that your mom used to do that all the time, that pink was her preferred color."

Teddy's heart sunk.

When they came back inside Harry caught Teddy's eye. Teddy noticed that his godfather's brow was furrowed and that a deep-set frown had overtaken his mouth--Harry was worried. Teddy shook his head and turned to follow Vic further into the house, aiming to go upstairs and catch up with the younger kids. He knew it was only a temporary solution though. That night he was supposed to sleep at Harry's house, so there would be no escaping the concern.

They didn't talk about it until late that night, after James, Al, and Lily had been put to bed and the Potters' house lay quiet.

They sat in Teddy's room. A framed picture of Teddy's parents was affixed to the wall over the bed, and they stared down at the scene.

"I'm proud to be their son," Teddy said.

"I know you are," Harry responded.

Teddy sighed. He was too full of energy to sit there with Harry. It felt as though his thoughts and feelings would fill him to bursting if he didn't do anything about it soon, so he started pacing, his hands clenched at his sides. "It'd just be nice to feel like people see me as my own person too." The shame washed over him. How ungrateful was he to wish that he could be distanced from his parents' legacies? To be somehow further removed from these people who were war heroes and who had given him his life in so many ways?

Harry said, "I understand."

Teddy stopped mid-stride, almost tripping over his own long legs. "You do?" he asked.

Harry nodded. He ran a hand through his messy black hair. "Look," he said, "we both know that you love your parents. But I also know as well as you do that people constantly bringing them up, constantly comparing you to them...it's too much, and it's not fair. Especially...especially when you didn't even get to know them yourself."

Teddy looked down, scuffing his foot on the rug. "Sometimes it's like I don't even exist, like I'm not an actual person. I'm just a weird thing made up of parts they left behind." He was alarmed to see how wet his godfather's eyes looked when he met Harry's gaze again. However that also made Teddy feel a little less ashamed as he swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.

"I'm sorry that we've made you feel like that," Harry said, standing. He clapped Teddy on the back and continued, "But I think we might have some things to help you."

They stayed up late that night, going through old pictures, Harry telling him stories. Ginny came in to give her own take a few times. Teddy had to admit that his godfather knew what he was doing. Learning about his parents, getting to know them for himself, was painful, and something that he'd avoided for most of his life. But now it was helping. He was able to see their similarities, their differences, to see where he was theirs and where he was his own.

The next time that he got that look, he embraced it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


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